Greetings!

Recently, I had been praying about where God was taking me, and what He expected of me. I have been having this powerful urge to go deeper than I have ever gone, and it has been making me feel uncomfortable…irritable. It was almost like I was fighting with myself. Last week, I realized that seeking holiness is causing me to go to a place in God that I have never been. A place where I have to open up completely to Him, and even though I know it is God…I still feel vulnerable…and I don’t like that feeling. I like believing that I have control…even though I know I don’t. So, what did God do? He took me to the sixth chapter of the Book of Judges.

I started out this week meditating on fasting and praying. I am just completing my second 21-day fast, and wondering if I had gotten everything I was supposed to get from this fast. The first time I did an extended fast was in 2008 with two other friends. God moved in my life so powerfully that I tried to keep going for a full 40 days! The problem with that was that God had not called me to do that, so I was out there on my own…drowning. I allowed the enemy to pollute my mind into thinking that I hadn’t done enough. I remember losing so much weight that people thought I was ill…even my doctor told me I didn’t look good.

Let me tell you how much our God loves us. As I was nearing the end of this fast, I started thinking again about extending the fast through the end of the month…which of course would be 40 days. That’s when God introduced me to Gideon in the Book of Judges. I thank God for the Holy Spirit because He spoke to my heart, and let me see that just like Gideon even though I may sometimes have doubts—God does not. Gideon doubted his abilities, and when God appeared to Gideon as an angel and said, "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior" (Judges 6:12, NIV), Gideon didn’t believe him. He even doubted that he was hearing from God…so he put God to the test—not once, but three times, and each time, God answered his request. Although I didn’t know that’s what I was doing…I wanted God to prove Himself by giving me the same experience I had five years ago during that first fast. God had to show me that I couldn’t have the same experience because I am no longer the same person. Praise God!

I love God...He is so patient with us. I have to believe and know that God heard my prayers, and answered each and every one of them.

On that I have no doubt.

Until next time…

Be blessed